Where do I go when I’m uninspired?
I go to church.
Now I’m not extremely religious, and didn’t grow up memorizing the word of God, but I know that God is present in my life.
Where I am today, is not only because of him but my trust in him. And I’m extremely blessed to be in a place where many creatives come to make it, Los Angeles. And while it may be the city of angels, trying to start a life in LA can be a living hell.
Each day I strive to be better than I was the day before, but do I always work on my craft?
Am I always searching for auditions?
No, but I try to be grateful with my present surroundings. I’m trying to develop myself in all aspects of life.
I’m not only working on a skill that’s going to better myself, I’m working on becoming a better me.
I write this, exhausted from last nights shift, in the bed of an Airbnb that I’ve lived in for almost 2 months. My suitcases are piled up on the floor in front of me, but although I’m not at home, I’ve realized that this isn’t the time for me to feel at home.
Home is a place for comfort, and right now it is not my time to be comfortable.
I get uninspired when things aren’t going the way I intended for them to go.
Maybe that’s part of my only child syndrome. When shit don’t go my way, I shuts it downnnnn. *insert monster emoji*
I didn’t plan on living in an Airbnb for more than a week, but I’m here now. I’ve met an amazing woman who’s taken me in like I was her own daughter, but I wouldn’t have had that opportunity had I not been honest and receptive towards being outside of my comfort zone.
So I didn’t get the part.
Now, I’m pacing back and forth in my head thinking, why did I choose to move? Why did I quit my job? Was this the right decision?
Why tf didn’t I take that class when I had the chance? I was probably horrible, no wonder they didn’t call me back.
I had to realize that everything that’s meant for me, will be.
I had to be patient. I know, wtf is a patience? You mean, I gotta like, wait on shit to happen when it’s supposed to? Is that still a thing? *double tap*
When I think about the growth I’ve had, the places I’ve seen, and the people I’ve met, it makes it all the more worthwhile. I would never be where I am today, had it not have been the faith I had in my decision to move.
Faith inspires me. Faith keeps me going, and being around people who fall over and over again and continue to get back up just to talk about it is what keeps me driven.
I’m not afraid to talk about my failures or put them on the forefront. I’ve always been that person. You know, the one that does something first, and thinks about it later. I used to think of that as a crutch, talking myself out of doing something because I was worried about what people may think of me, or say, but one day, I started not to give AF and I’ve learned to use it as a gift.
One of the things I’m continuously pushing myself towards are the things I’m afraid of. While I have no idea what the future holds for me, having people tell me how much I inspire them just by talking about things make me uncomfortable, helps me in return.
I moved to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but while I’ve been in transition with my move, I’ve been writing. I’ve been going to art museums, to the theatre, immercing myself in culture. Driving around in the Hollywood hills, and getting lost in Compton.
And there I was, thinking I was plenty cultured cuz’ I eat sushi sometimes.
But back to the real, being able to see things holistically, from concept to execution is a process. I had to recognize and that I’m still in the beginning of my season. Being open enough for change, and being honest with myself has only helped me to develop and acquire knowledge to get me to the next level.
While I can’t define exactly what the next level is, I can definitely say I’m not where I was yesterday.
I have a new mindset, it’s a new day, and I’m going to be open to the opportunities that present themselves in my life.
The wave of people I’ve seen doing for themselves as of recently has been tremendous. Having the courage to get out there, try something new, and doing that socially and/or in front of others is a huge deal. More and more I’m seeing the people I know dive into the arts, getting creative, honing their crafts, and that excites me.
Not to sound like a super dork, but I love seeing people getting out there and owning their shit. Like I said, I go to church, but I’m just gonna keep it real, I’m a cussin’ Christian.
I ams, what I ams.
Access yourself and feed your soul where it needs to be fed. I find my inspiration in devotion, my curiosity in culture, wanderlust for travel and surrounding myself with like minded people.
When you’re honest with the seasonality in your life you’ll know how to train. You know what’s expected in off-season, so once your time comes around and its your time to shine, you’ll be able to fulfill your greatness.
Jamisha Daniels is the Founding Editor of ItMustBeJam.com. If you like what you're reading, feel free to follow her on all the socials for more info! ItMustBeJam isn't the only place to find Jamisha's writing, she's an entertainment journalist, so you may see her lurking these cyber streets pushing these literary lines on some of your favorite entertainment sites.
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